Memoirs of The Luke: Archive

May 16th

1,546 notes

May 16th

351 notes

May 14th

5,289 notes

May 14th

302 notes

May 12th

1,099 notes

May 12th

187 notes

May 11th

79 notes

May 11th

60 notes

I know I said Id be gone, but being alone is fucking miserable. I dont know what to do anymore. I feel like such a piece of shit over what happened. I can’t figure out what’s wrong myself. :c

May 9th

2 tags

Heh 1000th post.

I’d been trying to figure out what to make my 1000th, but I didn’t expect I’d be doing this. I… need to figure some things out. Sort myself and my issues and just… I don’t know when I’ll be back, or if. Time will tell. Until then, I’m on hiatus. Sorry to anyone that cares.

May 3rd

Things I love About Dark Souls #45

“You were indicted.”

May 3rd

21 notes

May 2nd

114 notes

May 2nd

27 notes

May 2nd

70 notes

May 1st

4,619 notes

May 1st

4,788 notes

May 1st

9 notes

TAKEEEEEEEE ONNNNNNNN MEEEEEEEE TAKE ON ME TAKEEEEEEEE MEEEEEEEE ONNNNNNNN TAKE ON ME I’LLLLLLLLL BEEEEEEEE GONEEEEEEEE IN A DAY OR TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

May 1st

68,743 notes

May 1st

15 notes

Apr 29th

17,565 notes

6 tags

Apr 27th

1 note

Apr 27th

44 notes

Apr 27th

159,152 notes

Apr 26th

569 notes

Apr 26th

49,427 notes

Apr 26th

1,842 notes

Apr 26th

12,478 notes

How to tell the difference between different...

POWER METAL: The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.
THRASH METAL: The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fucks her.
HEAVY METAL: The protagonist arrives on a Harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and fucks the princess.
FOLK METAL: The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (because of all the dancing). Then all leave........ without the princess.
VIKING METAL: The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.
DEATH METAL: The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.
BLACK METAL: The protagonist IS the dragon, dwells in the heart of the night with in a castle full of hellhounds and eternal flames. He kills the sassy knight, fucks the noble steed and sacrifices the princess to Satan.
GORE METAL: The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.
DOOM METAL: The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That's the end of the sad story.
PROGRESSIVE METAL: The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the 'HEAVY METAL' protagonist.
GLAM METAL: The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink colour.
NU METAL: The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.